Tomorrow I start my new job!!! This is the first time in almost 5 years that I will be working outside YWAM. I am a little nervouse and excited at the same time. I know that God has been walking with me through this process and He is the one that has given me this job. I am still working for YWAM, but now I am carrying a second job, to make it through this season of my life. See in order for me to move forward in the dreams that God has put in my heart, I first have to get my finances in line. It has been a tumultious process, and in the last two weeks I have seen some major breakthrough in my life, this job being one of many things. While I am exicted to have regular interactions with people outside of the Christian world, I am also aware that I will see some things in myself that I have not seen before. It will be an interesting ride.
This process has been one of tears and pain. I have come to see that it is bigger than me, and God has been dealing with some things in my family as well. I have been fighting for each person in my family to see finacial freedom and breakthrough as well. I am so greatful to share in the joys of my family as well, we are all stepping up and seeing things come together. I can see now, looking back, that tears, the pain, the suffering was not in vain. I was fighting not only for myself, but for them, and I am elated to see them receiving the blessings as well.
The ones closes to us often cause the most pain, because that is where the most love is. Love is painful. Love invovles taking risk and vulnerability, something that most of us humans are afraid of. We spend the majority of our lives trying to cope, deal with, and protect ourseleves from pain. Pain was never Gods original intention for us, but it is result of the fallen world, and He uses it to bring us closer to Him. Which has been a result for me in this process, I am becoming more of who He intented me to be.
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