Amazing Awe

I have made bad choices and now I am paying the price. I have said before that the price is high. This has been an area of real testing for me. This last week or so I find myself doing things with the wrong motivation. I tell myself to do things because I need the money. Money seems to be such a distraction. I got myself into this situation, and it will take me and God to get out of it. But once I started working I began to put my trust in the amount of hours that I work, instead of God. Sometimes I feel stuck because I am not currently living out the very things that God is calling me too. I so badly want to move forward with them, and I know that getting my finances in order is the first step but sometimes it feels like taking a detour. This week however relief has come. First I had an opportunity to work on our Ropes Course, loving and encouraging kids, while having fun with them. There were several girls that were shy, and not really wanting to participate in the activities, but I was able to draw them in, and watch them overcome some of their fears. Several things occurred to me during this time, one was how much I have changed. Just a year and half ago I would have done my duties and quietly watched as others spoke, but I had so much fun talking to and encouraging them. When I was asked to lead a game, I did not hesitate, I stepped up to the plate and took the lead. That would have never happened before. Also I became aware of how God is giving me opportunities to make an impact right now, where I am at. I was alive while I was working on the Ropes Course.

Then another blessing came, one that could only be from God. I stood speechless as I opened the envelope and saw what was inside. I was in shock and awe. I had to have another person confirm what I was seeing, I really thought my eyes were deceiving me . It was God letting me know that I am on the right track, that He has seen my efforts, and heard my feeble prayers. I am so encouraged. I stand amazed at the goodness of God.