Flicker of Excitement

Fall has settled in, and is making room for winter. The stores are bursting with Christmas, Santa is coming soon to a mall near you, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I dislike holidays, all of them really, but particularly Christmas. There just seems to be too much hype, too much pressure, and seemingly very little meaning, or it has all been lost, in the hype. Okay enough about that, I am a Grinch, and I know there are plenty of people who actually really like the holidays, and I do not want to take their joy.

So I have been wondering why is it is so hard for people to love. Actually I think that people love each other more than we admit to it. We are afraid to admit to it, why? Its like we walk around with it, and we never say anything about it, we never act on it, why? I know that it is scary, I am scared of it. I think sometimes it is more hurtful to not say anything, to not act on it, then to walk around keeping it inside. I don’t know, I don’t really know where I am going with this, or what I am trying to say, but I know that there are a lot of hurting people in the world and they need to be loved, so why are we so afraid to love? Why am I so afraid to love? Why am I so afraid to be loved?

So I finally did it, I found the motivation to write my newsletter. It was not actually that bad, it really only took me a couple hours to pump out a rough draft, it still needs polishing and finishing touches, but the bulk of it is over. To be honest, something happened that scared me, and I realized how much I miss full time ministry, and the life that comes with it. Also I had a meeting with a friend and the opportunities that were presented to me, gave me a flicker of excitement, I have not had even a flicker of excitement in a very long time. It was just the kick in the butt that I needed to start moving in the right direction. So here I go, moving, which is better than not moving at all, which seems to be where I have been stuck. Okay enough rambling.