A 2 year journey ends

It is a lazy Sunday, it is cool, cloudy, and drizzly out. I am sitting around doing nothing, kinda enjoying it, and kinda wanting to do something productive. I am back in Oregon now, I have been here for 3 weeks, it is nice to be home, to see my friends again. I wish I could say that I miss life at camp, but I don't really, I miss the sun and warmth of California, but that's about it. I do think of everyone from down there often though. I have been working at the same 2 jobs before, but not as much, I am taking things easier now. I am blessed to have the these jobs to come back to for a short time. Thanksgiving has come ans gone, we put up Christmas decorations tomorrow, and have our first holiday party on Tuesday, so the holiday season is well underway. I am trying really hard this year to enjoy Christmas, but I don't know if I can. I think I am trying because my Grandma died earlier this year, and it made realize how much I miss being around my family, my sister is pregnet, she is having a girl, so yes I am going to be a real aunt, I am finally starting to get excited about it. Most of my cousins are also pregnet, leaving me the only one of us, besides the youngest one, unmarried, and without kids, this kinda bothers me, but I have choosen to live a very different life, and I guess that is okay, I love being free to travel and work random jobs, I am really commited to all that I do, so when the time comes I will be commited to being a wife and mom too. I just made my final payment on my credit card, so I have zero balances on all of them, which is so exciting and a journey that I gave up alot for, worked my ass off for, and today it has finally come. I am looking forward to starting 2009 without that over my head. Now I have to make a fresh start and give up all the coping mechanism's I formed to get through that phase of my life. I am finally looking forward to trying to find a way and a place to live those dreams I have been holding for so long. I am excited for 2009 to be a new yaer and the new things that will come out of it.

I am not looking forward to the next 3 weeks in which I will be very busy working, I will hopefully make some decent money, but it will be intense, and hopefully I will get to see all my family over the holidays.