Saying Good Bye

Saying good bye is never fun, but it totally sucks when it is forever. I am at the hospital right now, because my Grandma is not doing very well, and the doctors have said that we should all say our good byes and let her know that it is okay for her to go. She has been sick for a long time, we have all kinda been waiting for this day, but it is still a shock now that it has come. I am an array of emotions, I am sad, I will be relieved. I have to go home soon, that is an hour away from where she is, so I am getting ready to go up to her room and tell her good bye, possibly for the last time ever. I know that it is a privilege to be able say all the things you've always wanted to say, a lot of people never actually get that chance. I spent sometime alone with her last night and talked to her, and said all those things, but still it strange. Every time I get in my car I hear this song that says "say what you need to say", I think it will forever remind me of this weekend, and my dying grandma, but also to always say what I need to say, to let things go and live with regrets. I dont really know how to do this, I dont know that anyone really does. I am wasted with tears, yet trying to be strong, I know I don't have to be strong, but I always try to be. I wish I could busy myself with things to do, though I know it is best for me to be here, now, doing exactly what I am doing. I know this is a privilege, i want to make the most out of this, so I guess I am going to sign off now, go up stairs and say good bye to Grandma quite possibly for the last time ever.