Open Hands

I wish that I was confident in making good decisions for my life. I have made so many bad ones, and seem to be paying the price for every bad choice I have made my whole life, all at the same time. Thus feeling trapped. Trapped, I am grasping for something, anything that may be an answer, a fix, a solution, bring comfort. The more I grab at things, the worse they seem to get, and now a downward, out of control, spiral. Its hard to work my way back up. I want it all to end, to go away. I am tired of back pedaling for all the mistakes, yet with each new choice I make, things seem to only get harder, and more out of control. I need to hold things loosely, with open hands, I am grasping and clutching, things to quickly and too tightly. I need to have patience, to wait, and when I know, then hold lightly, allowing God to have all that He has given. Learning to sit and wait with open hands.